I play a fair number of gigs. I wouldn’t really say I am a “professional musician,” at least not in the sense that I don’t make a very significant portion of my income from playing. But, I have a weekly gig at a small restaurant, I’m in a band that plays out about once a month, and I play in two regional, semi-professional orchestras—that each do a handful of concerts a year. That’s not a ton of playing, but it’s definitely not nothing.
In all of my playing, I have played alongside a pretty wide swath of folks in our local “scene.” And, because I’m a little more “multi-lingual” than most, I’ve played with people from several of the area’s “sub-scenes.” I feel pretty lucky to get to do this, especially because there are some phenomenal musicians ’round here.
A Versatile Drummer
One of these is a drummer who I think is wonderful. He, like me, has his fingers in several of San Diego’s music communities. I think of him as one of our best, most versatile drummers. A few years ago, he won an award for best jazz album and best hip-hop album! And, the fact is, he’s an excellent musician with better taste than most. If I was ever needing a drummer who I knew could handle just about any style of music, this is the first person I’d call.
“People Who Look Like You”
Today, he relayed a story of how a certain leader of a local arts organization recently called him (the drummer) “white Jesus,”1 and that his organization “would never support music by someone who looked like [him].” The drummer did a good job of trying to keep the story professional and didn’t do any name dropping, so I don’t know all of the details, but that’s not really the point.
To quote the drummer:
Their organization does good work and I thought we were on the same team: marginalized folks presenting marginalized music in a largely conservative town. I thought about explaining that the work I’ve done for the last twenty years in this town laid the groundwork for his organization to do what they do. I thought about explaining how I have bridged different scenes here in San Diego, or maybe discuss how important my music is for community building.
Instead, my drummer friend just ended up blocking this person and his organization on all of the relevant platforms, etc. and is doing what he can to avoid working with him and the organization.
Exhaustion
I know that laments about the excesses of left-wing thought and politics are a little cliché at this point—I am still working on a version of one of these of my own, part of my “Leaving Cults” series—but, what is the point of this kind of stuff? I keep seeing anecdotes like this one popping up in different corners of the arts world (and elsewhere) and I am kind of baffled. And, exhausted.
Who benefits from organizations like this purposely making enemies of the giants upon whose shoulders they stand? What kind of “progress” are we going to achieve—toward any goal, really—with this kind of interaction?
Good faith?
I want to believe that folks like this are operating in good faith. I think they have good intentions and are trying to work toward worthy goals. But, so, so, so often, “the left” takes a good idea and extends it so far that it becomes unrecognizable and it ends up alienating (and undermining) everyone.
A breaking point?
I keep wondering how much longer I can hold on in the many lefty spaces I inhabit. Academia can be a wonderful place where we get to explore our curiosities and celebrate high idea(l)s. But, it is also often a place where petty squabbling and back-stabbing is the real economy at play. Within this semester, I should have my student loans taken care of (via the PSLF program). After that, I’ll have to really start thinking about if this is sustainable (both for me and in general). I hate that I feel like I’ve come to some sort of “breaking point.” This story from my favorite local drummer reminded me that there is a long way toward something closer to “sane” in many corners of my world.
If you saw my drummer friend, this comment would make more sense. He tends to sport a long beard and often wears sandals.