musician.educator.musicologist

on Timing My Sabbatical

Added on by Taylor Smith.

My sabbatical came about through an application (and subsequent approval) during the 2022–2023 school year. I applied once before, several years ago, and didn’t get the sabbatical—something for which I am still harboring feeling of bitterness and angst—but this time everything went through!

The timing of this sabbatical was pretty crucial, so I was extra excited to have it all work out. My daughter graduated from high school in June and my son finished middle school in June. This put both of them at transition points this semester; my daughter into college and my son into high school. All of this seemed like the exactly perfect time to try something new (like move to a new country).

College For My Daughter

My daughter decided, against all of our urgings, to start her first semester of college rather than join us on this trip. In August, she started her first semester at Southern Virginia University. She was adamant that she did not want to come with us.1 So far, she seems to be doing well. It was difficult leaving her, especially knowing that there is very little we can do to help her if she needs it. She cried. Her mom cried. I cried. But, to be honest, we all need some space from one another at this point in our relationship, so I think everyone is probably better off with things as they are.

High School For My Son

Seeing that he is only fourteen, my son didn’t really have the option of staying behind in the U.S. But, since he would have been starting at a new school at home, the transition to doing school a “new way” (i.e. through an online, independent study program) seemed perfectly timed.2

Burnout For Me

And then there’s me, who has been getting closer and closer to complete burnout for several years now. Sabbaticals are supposed to give you a chance to “refresh” yourself from the sometimes-grueling job of working in academia. They are also supposed to give you time to work on something that you normally can’t due to your typical day-to-day. Some typical things that come to mind are writing books, finishing some high-level coursework, contributing to some big research project(s), etc. But, first, a sabbatical is supposed to be a “sabbath” from your usual stuff ... hence the name.

And, let me tell you, do I ever need a break! I can’t really relate how close to the bone I feel I’ve been recently. I know a lot of people think teachers (and college professors even more so) have a pretty cushy job, but I promise you that the emotional and psychological toll can be pretty high (and definitely has been for me).

I haven’t been away long enough to say if I am feeling any less of the burnout, etc., yet, but I am enjoying the feeling of having an extended summer break if nothing else.

Politics

One of the biggest sources of my feelings of burnout come from the intense political environment where I find myself. I will probably have more to say about this later, but suffice it to say that I am finding myself feeling less and less “at home” on campus and in “the academy,” which is kind of a weird feeling to have. Basically, I got into this line of work because I really like(d) music and I wanted to be around and talk about it all the time; now, I am liking music less and less and don’t really want to go into any of it anymore because of how political and not-really-about-music-at-all-anymore it has all gotten.

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1 A big part of this sentiment stems from her being absolutely desperate to get out on her own, away from the care (and control) of her parents.

2 For the curious, this online independent-study thing isn’t going very smoothly at all. We’re all struggling with it.